revelation

I have to document this.

Satan obviously found us threatening when we're preparing to go to Philippines for a mission trip.

I was extremely discouraged by how people view mission trips or even humanitarian trips. I felt really foolish for doing it because I was "paying to do hard labour". That was the word that came to mind - foolish. Another word that came to mind was loser. I have been feeling useless and incapable of doing anything right for a long while. Ever since I left my last job actually. There are fears that even if I get my dream job (if I know what it is), I'll still screw up. And the devil planted the word loser in my mind.

It was too late to call anyone that night so I talked to God instead. Telling Him how I feel, how people made me feel, what the world is saying. And then something clicked. I am not a loser because God is not a loser. God is my Creator. If I am a loser, that will make God a loser as well. And there is no point worshipping Him. But I know that He is real and He has value. I am a child of child and therefore, I am not a loser.

He said he'll never leave me nor forsake me and He is walking alongside me. Even if the world thinks lesser of me and wonder why I'm paying to go to villages and slums to be with the people or to do hard work, I am not alone. He is walking alongside me and He thinks the world of me. He is on my side! I am doing this not to proof anything to anyone but because His love has compelled me to. I have tasted God's goodness and have seen with my own eyes how He has been working in my life and in others. I want tell people how much God loves them and that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. That they are not accidents.

Spiritual warfare happens when we become a threat to Satan's plans. It's good news because it means that we're on the right track. :)

Leading worship yesterday was different for me. I believed when I was singing those songs that God is great, that God is for us and we need not fear man or circumstances, that He meant it when He said that "it is done"! Pastor Stanley's message was spot on as well. The Holy Spirit is our Helper and Advocate.

I truly believed that whatever happened happen for a reason. And my convicted and faith has been greatly increased because of that. I guess Satan's plan backfired! Oops! :P

By the way, I'll be leaving for Laguna, Philippines in 4 days' time. Below is my prayer letter. I do appreciate your prayers! I'm actually short of S$341 for the trip, so if you're led to give a love offering, please contact me and I'll give you my bank details. :)