Can I whine???

Can I whine? Of coz I can! It's my blog!

Today didn't start very well...
First, I got an SMS from Hum's sister.. lil P. 6 sister, mind you.. Says "hi june! jo-****, hum's sis, here.. im aware of the barrier betwen the two of you okay.. but my sis did NOT tell me about it.. she just seemed so down and all.. and i found out la.. but, care to tell me what happened?"
What the heck is she trying to do??? Accused-turned-victim is it?

Never mind.. So I got ready to go for dance class.. Left the house at 10.30.. then it started raining really heavily so I decided to cab it.. 45 mins and many many many swear words later, there was still no cab and so I didn't turn up for dance today.. Sigh....
[Thanks Moo, for bearing with my cursing and whining.. =P]

Plus.. my mudder is in 1 of her crazy moods again...

But dinner with the NUS cell was great though! Nice nice food at this seafood restaurant near Sunset Way... Nice nice cake later at Jelita's O'Brien's.. =) Happie happie!

I feel totally inadequate to lead people into worship or to lead a cell.
My own life is so messed up man! I've got unforgiveness in heart... with Hum, with my mum... I totally haven't been a good testimony to my family and friends...
I suck! I'm really not worthy to worship the Holy God... nor am I worthy to be a youth leader.. less I bring them astray..
Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trigger Happie Part II

Jud's Birthday Dinner @ Couduroy & Finch 02/10/2005


The birthday gal!


Group pic


Lil & Jud


Me & Priscilla


The SJSM gals

Trigger Happie... =)

Reunion with Eny & Moo


Cheeky pic


Yum-cha at Crystal Jade


Fave couple pic


Doesn't Eny look sweet? =)


The gals!

My good friend's mum just passed away yesterday morning. She was supposed to undergo blood dialysis and she just had a change of anti-biotics for her infection (she was a kidney patient). But I guess Dad couldn't bear to see her suffer anymore, so He decided to take her back home. She passed on peacefully at the age of 53.

Was at her wake just now. One could never truly understand the feeling of losing a mother... at least I couldn't. I can only imagine the pain of seeing your mother suffer for the past 20 years, having to send her to a nursing home not because you want to but because you were unable to take care of her due to your need to work, having no time to visit your mum because you're working so hard so that she can have a better life, having to make trips to and from the hospital and the nursing home, having to worry about soaring hospital bills, having to see your mother waste away in her last days.... One can only imagine...

Alisa, you have always been so strong.. You never faltered and only fixed your eyes on Jesus.. Your mum's demise was unexpected but Dad's timing is always perfect. We can rejoice because she is in eternal bliss with our Father. She will never have to suffer.
Be strong! I'll be here for you...

So Funky!

I went for my first dance class ever! Actually no... I did ballet for some kindergarten celebration thingy (don't laugh!! Ok.. So I look ridiculous in a pink tu-tu.. Round and pink.. Sound like something you know? =P)

So anyway, I went for a hip-hop dance class at St. James' Church with Amanda, Karen, Angie and Wendy.. =) They all could dance and I like the only beginner amongst the experts! Cept for 1 "auntie", I am the other clueless one in class.

Teacher's this guy called Yutaki.. Reminds me of Moo though.. Don't know why.. heh..
He looks just like a dancer (duh!), posture and all. He made us do 30 minutes of warming-up. I was perspiring like a pig 10 minutes into the warm-up already! There is this difficult stunt that I couldn't do coz my calf muscles are too hard.. Sigh.. So embarrassing! The choreo part was fun though. =)

My tummy and my arms and my legs are aching from all that exercise today!! Good stuff! Looking forward to next week's class!
More power! =) Yo yo yo..

Intriguing and disturbing at the same time. Made me wanna go online to find out more about Marquis de Sade.

It's kinda scary how de Sade's writing distracted a priest's plan to save his soul. I mean, I understand de Sade's desire to go against societal norms and religious principles. Scary, isn't it? I actually find his writings really fascinating - how he writes about the pain of love and the love for pain.

This is a play that discusses the role of the artist, and the right to create no matter what the circumstances. It has a magnetic appeal that keeps the audience captivated throughout the play. Even after I came out of the theatre, I was lost for words. I was so intrigued by the whole presenation of the play - the mise-en-scene, the sound, the lighting, the blocking, the costumes, the script... It was great!

It somehow made me think about how the deil can make us fall (there was a scene that protrays the priest succumbing to lust with the devil disguised as the Marquis delighting in his fall) and how we should always draw strength from God because we can't do it with our own strength. Also what I would do if I was in the priest's position - he had tried to talk the Marquis into turning back to God, taking away his writing instruments (his quills, paper, bedsheets, curtains, clothes), killing him ultimately when he took away his creativity (his brain)..

It's a thinking play.. Am still thinking about it after a week and a half...

4/5 stars.. =)

*Ain't very coherent..wrting this at 2.30 in the morning.. but can;t sleep.. what to do? =)

Yet Another Strange Song...

Heard this on Perfect 10 just now.. Wierd....

Watching Punk'd on MTV with Ashton Kutcher
Reminded me of my handsome uncle working at the butcher
He's oh-so slim and trim
The man is not a glutton
But he can't find a wife because he smells like muttonMutton...(X6)
Smells like mutton...

He's lonely and confused
He has an empty heart
He's suave and he's hygenic
He never popped a fart
In his life...In his life...

Everyday he wishes all the girls would touch his button
He tries so hard to talk to them
It even led a slutton
Mutton...(X6)
Led a slutton...

He tries so hard to change his ways
14 times a day he bathes
But no matter how long he keeps on scrubbing
The man would always smells, smells likeMutton...(X6)
Smells like mutton...

One day he met a girl
She said her name was Keith
Her hair was gold, her breasts were big with shiny perfect teeth
She loved the smell of all raw meat like fish and pork and beef
But this girl will be his downfall
His one and only grief

His one true love
This nice female
Escaped just now
From Punggol Jail
This woman he sawAs his wife
Was brandishing a kitchen knife
Brandishing a kitchen knife(oh...)

She jumped right up and my uncle fled
From all the gaping wounds he bleed
He passed away through loss of blood
Because of all the cuttings

And this ends, a tragic tale

Of Uncle Mutton
Of Uncle Mutton
Of Uncle Mutton
Of Uncle Mutton...

I - AM - A - LOSER

So I decided to go down to Tracy's place to tan right.. Didn't get to do it yesterday coz of the pouring rain..

I had planned to tan for 2 hours but I couldn't stand the heat and so I only spent an hour tanning. When I get up from the chair, I felt woozy and nauseous. I struggled to put on my clothes and went to the vending machine to get a drink. Didn't have any coins cept for a dollar coin so get a Coke instead of good ol' mineral water. Big mistake!

I was seeing patches of light and my walk was unsteady as I tried to walk to the ladies room to puke. I felt like vomiting, my stomach was queasy and my head was spinning. I slumped on the beach and slept for a while.

I HAD A HEAT STROKE WHILE TRYING TO TAN! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A BIGGER LOSER?

Wah lao! I felt like such a loser! Sun-bathing's supposed to be a relaxing activity and I still managed to get a heat stroke nua-ing in the sun!
The last time I remembered having a heat stroke was in secondary school, after hours of marching in the sun when I was in the school band. Sigh..

Who would have thought?

Web SMS monologue...

*Beep beep*

Incoming: Hi june.. can u call me now? [Reply to *****?]
(Switches phone to silent non-vibrating mode and goes back to dreamland)

Incoming: I'm feeling very sad [Reply to *****?]

Incoming: I feel tt god dsn't love me [Reply to *****?]
(What did you do this time?)

Incoming: I have been cheated of my feelings and everything! [Reply to *****?]
(Finally!)

Incoming: hey... still no response [Reply to *****?]

Incoming: hah... bluff you one lah [Reply to *****?]
(Funny ah, gal?)

Incoming: just want to say hi... wait for me to come back oh [Reply to *****?]
(Not looking forward!)

Incoming: itz be a suprize [Reply to *****?]
(It's s-u-r-p-r-i-s-e lah goon!)

Incomimg: bye.......:))))))))) [Reply to *****?]

Incoming: StarHub Msg:***** has ended the WebSMS session with you blah blah blah...

*9 messages received*
Outgoing:

************************************************************************************
Dear Hum,

What does it take for you to get it in your dense skull that your SMSes and calls are not welcomed?

It irks me that you can't say all you want in as few SMSes as possible. StarHub does give you a limit of 147 characters per SMS you know.
It irks me that you are like a leech that only falls off after it has its fill.
It irks me that you persisted in calling me today eventhough I didn't want to answer your calls (I was expecting Jasmin to call and was rudely shocked to hear your voice. I didn't answer your calls subsequently. You remind me of Tun Tun! He, too, kept calling and calling eventhough I didn't respond. Don't you get it?)
It irks me that i may be the only one that you're irking!

Irked,
June

My Wishlist...

Dior's Trotter Romantique collection.. Pretty pretty! =)

Spoke to Jas for 2 hours today! Miss her so much!! Am so glad to hear her voice and do some catching up! I guess we needed to talk to each other because we have been going through some rough times recently. It's really amazing how we can be miles apart and still sense that something was wrong and just be there for each other. =)

She'll be back in Dec or Jan! Can't wait!!

BTW,

Dear Hum,
I am really not looking forward to your return. And I think your plan to surprise everyone is totally ridiculous! It's only for your own benefit! You just want to see the surprised faces of people and see how much you're missed and all! The truth is - you're not!

Whatever gave you the idea that everyone back here is looking forward to you coming back to Singapore? Obviously nothing has changed. The course has not transformed you at all. You still sound schizo to me. Your emails rant about how God has touched you and how much you want to follow Him, while your SMSs to me revolve around one subject - guys.

You mean all you can talk to me about is how many guys like you and how they come in all shapes and sizes? How you want to introduce them to me coz you don't click, or coz they don't have a sense of humour, or coz they are fat and funny, like me?
Get a life, gal! Seriously!

Stop living in your own bubble! Stop thinking that everything revolves around you! It freaking doesn't, alright!

Frustrated,
June

To my many many friends who are moulding the future of the nation:

HAPPIE TEACHERS' DAY!!!!!!

All is peaceful at home now.. almost...

Have decided to "be a (wo)man, do the right thing" after worship prac last Fri and greeted mum when I got home.. I have relented! Sigh...

Was woken up this morning at 9 by the beeping coming from my mobile.. read the message from an unfamiliar number: "Hey june, hope u received my email rdg the interview tdy at 1pm? Thks"
Aaahhh!!! What interview?? I've been so busy with H.U.M that I've forgotten to check my emails... turned out that the message was from Evelyn, GM of Intergrity Media Singapore.. I went down for the 1st interview abt a week ago for the Sales and Admin Asst position..
Requested to meet her tomorrow instead.. it'll be too convenient anyway to get from Kallang to Dover and am meeting Ling at 3pm to prep for the LAST night of H.U.M.. Yeah!

On a totally random note:
I MISS JASMIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do.. I really do.. I miss my best friend, who's all the way in Auckland, NZ..
I have a sudden urge to go see her and give her a BIG hug and talk to her and be there for her and go for coffees with her....
We only get to talk twice a year.. on her birthday and on mine.. heh.. reason being we both can't afford to spend too much time on the phone (expensive you know.. especially on her side..)... and we're both busy with our own stuff (she's definitely busier than me.. =P From her uni days till now.. even more so since she just started work..)

I think I'm gonna call her tomorrow.. =)

5 weeks of teaching English at SFMS doesn't warrant an interest in relief teaching.. =P

Local kids are just really bratty compared to foreign ones.. although my Taiwanese kids drove me up the wall (one of which got called f***ing a****** by moi..haha..)
My Jap and Korean students were really good though.. I especially enjoyed my time with the Korean kids.. they're so cute!!

Honestly, I'm scared... I totally freak out at the thought of teaching local secondary school kids.. I'm insecure.. really insecure..
Pressure's on.. =)

Have been jogging and climbing stairs.. all in the name of weight-loss.. hehe..
(no choice..got a pair of SAF NBs.. so muz use lor...)

A self-confessed hard-core non-believer of solo-cising has found jogging and brisk-walking to be extremely therapeutic..and a great way 2 release tension and stress..
Believe me.. people DO get stressed even if they're gainfully unemployed..

Have also fallen terribly sick..stuffy nose and all.. after 4 whole days of exercise! Just when I decide to get my butt off the couch and do something meaningful in my life.. this happens! Do you know how many hurdles I have to cross? Things like what other people might think seeing a fat girl jogging past them (the tremors felt by many might be coming from Bukit Batok and not Nias..), stares from wierd Bangla workers.. Uninvited guests following me back home.. (it is the 7th month, you know..)
Isn't exercise supposed to strengthen one's immune system or crap like that???

Anyway, mummy dearest hasn't been very encouraging..
Not that she doesn't know that I've been trying to lose weight and have been working out.. she's (un)intentionally been harping on how fat I am and how much weight I've gained recently..
And how I should lose some weight, less I look like a married woman..
Also she's been reminding me about how I would be a mother of a child at my age if I'm lucky.. just 'cause she became a mother at 23..

In order to make a statement, I went on a hunger strike.. for a day..
I simply refuse to eat anything she has cooked or bought..
Childish? I know.. I guess pride has gotten the best of me.. and having inherited my stubborness from you-know-who.. let's see how far we can go..

I felt trapped in my own house! I had to get out! I so want to move out but since I'm not working, it's out of the question..
It felt so good to be out of the house today!
Alas, I succumbed to temptation at Shin's place... Forgot all about the statement I was trying to make and ate a big bowl of laksa..amongst other edibles... that have been painstakingly prepared by my 3rd aunt and the maid to please the guests' palates.. Sigh... TOTAL GUILT!

I haven't been the most emotionally stable person these past few months...
My mum's driving me mad! Or maybe it's just me.. stressing myself.. about the job... about my weight... about how almost everyone I know is engaged or married..
I think I need to see a shrink...

Any volunteers? =)

Boy, was the overnight Church Prayer Meeting great!!!!

It was really gd 2 be able 2 pray 4 our nation, our youths and the different minitries at SJSM! And we made it thru to 6am this morning! =)
[age muz b catching up..the older we get, the lesser sleep we need.. ]

My heart still skips a beat when the subject of prisons ministry is brought up..

The first time I heard this song, I cried buckets!!

Fly Away by Corrine May

"When will you be home?" she asks

As we watch the planes take off

We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead

She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled

As a child, she was my world

And now to let me go, I know she bleeds

And yet she says to me

You can fly so high

Keep your gaze upon the sky I

'll be praying every step along the way

Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart

I love you too much to make you stay

Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and

Silver-painted hair Daddy called one evening saying

"We need you. Please come back"

When I saw her laying in her bed

Fragile as a child

Pale just like an angel taking flight

I held her as I cried

You can fly so high

Keep your gaze upon the sky

I'll be praying every step along the way

Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart

I love you too much to make you stay

Baby fly away ohh...

I love you too much to make you stay

Baby fly away

My grandparents in their prime.. =) Me and grandma...love her to bits!

My Grandma The Karung Guni

Have been helping grandma pack.. sigh.. they're moving back to Thomson after < 1 year in Yio Chu Kang... Grand-dad wants 2 die in Thomson - where thy'vebeen living for the past 50 years or so...

Man...my grandma has stuff from eons ago... she still has the tumbler she used when I was a tiny (yes..i was tiny b4..) babe.. haha..Moo wld noe.. =P
Grandma told him my lifestory in the 2 hours or so that we were at the hospital visiting grand-dad..hehe..
And the bedsheets my cousin Shin Hui (who's 17 btw) used to bring to playgroup..like many many yrs ago..

She's got like knicks and knacks from yester-year tt she's unwilling to throw out coz they're pretty.. *slaps head*
And tons of clothes that i've nv seen her in...
And the same make-up stuff that I used to play dress-up in when I was a child... and I'm 25!!

There're also countless of plastic bottles - mineral water bottles, drink bottles, medicine bottles in the kitchen... 1 for every occasion - when she doesn't need 2 much water, when her handbag's 2 small, when she's really thirsty, when she's feeling cute... sigh...

But I did enjoy dinner with my grandparents... simple fare of satay and durians.. hehe...
Grand-dad seems really happi that we got durians.. he loves them... says they make him move his bowels more often... Opps!! 2 much information....
I really enjoy speaking they language.. it's a different kind of Cantonese.. frm a different part of Guangdong (DUH!).. a language that grand-dad insists on speaking to the grandchildren..
it's a beautiful language... which will prob die out after we have our own families... SAD...

It was a strange feeling... we're not very close to grand-dad but it was heart-breaking to hear tt grand-dad wanted to pass on in the house they've been living in most of their lives..
I have thot abt it.. I thot i'll be sadder when grandma dies... i guess i can't bear to have grand-dad leave us as well...

My.. isn't this entry random...

Thank God for cousins! =)

Happi tanning tomorrow!!