Am back from mission trip prematurely.

Left on Wednesday night to Mambang Diawan, Perak. Arrived on Thurday morning around 6am. Received news from Shin's parents on Thursday afternoon that Grandpa's in a coma. Her mom called later in the afternoon at about 4+ and told us that he has passed away (they were actually planning to remove his life support that day). We only managed to get bus tickets for Friday morning. After a long and restless bus ride, we reached Tan Tock Seng Hospital at 6.30pm. Broke down when we saw him lying in the ICU. They have decided to wait till Mark, my eldest cousin and Grandpa's only grandson, to arrive before they do it.

What actually happened was Grandpa was at the bank with Grandma and Shin's father to deposit a cheque he received from the sale of their extra flat at Yio Chu Kang, when he suddenly said that his head hurts really badly. My uncle asked him whether he was giddy. Said that he's not. The bank staff offered him water. Grandpa took a few sips and threw it out. Then he went limp. That was when they called for an ambulance. He was in a coma ever since. Doctor said one of his arteries broke and filled his brain with blood. They operated on him to insert a tube in his head to drain out the fluid, but they weren't able to remove the blood clots in his brain. He also had a mild heart attack.

It was really heartbreaking to see Grandpa lying there so helplessly, with tubes running through his mouth, his hands and his head. He's always been a figure of authority and a man of few words, a typical Chinese grandfather. It was hard for us coz he looked so frail and weak.

According to my 1st aunt, when she asked him whether he wanted to receive Jesus in his life, he shoke. They're preparing a Christian funeral for him. The grandchildren are praying for a miracle though. All we want now is to see him open his eyes to see us. We believe that if Jesus can raise Lazarus from the dead 2000 years ago, He can do it in 2006 as well!

We really don't know what God's plan for Grandpa is right now. He is sustaining him as of now. And Grandpa's such a fighter and so so stubborn. He'll hang on as long as he can. The decision to take away the life support was coz Grandpa's brain is completely damaged and he has mentioned that he wants to die peacefully without any suffering.

Personally, I'm still praying for a miracle. I don't know whether I'm in denial or whether I'm trying to twist God's arm. I'm afraid to ask God to let His will be done because I'm not ready and i don't want to let Grandpa go.

TTSH has transferred Grandpa from ICU to a normal ward. We were crowding round his bed to see him yesterday. It's sad! Shin and I walked out coz we don't want to stand there and watch him die. All my family is doing now is waiting for him to take his last breath. Funeral arrangements have made. My grandparents' place have been cleared to make way for the tentage and stuff.

Dear friends, won't you please join my cousins and I in prayer? I know what we should be praying for but we're believng in God's mighty power.

This hymn kept ringing in my head. Shin had the song too, in Chinese. =P

Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father,

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;

Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not

As Thou has been Thou forever wilt be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!

Great is Thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see.

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,

Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above

Join with all nature in manifold witness

To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,

Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide.

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.

Sunday was pretty amazing! Despite the fatigue from the Missions Boot Camp, and the lack of motivation to go for service and all, God was still able to do His work! He has once again shown His SOVEREIGNTY!

He had touched many hearts that day, both at Heartbeat Youth service, as well as at the Global Day of Prayer. 2000 years after the Holy Spirit was given to us when Jesus ascended to the right hand of God's throne, He has shown that he is real and in the present.

God reminded me of my missions call. Revealed His heart for the lost, for those who have not heard the gospel, for those who have harden their hearts towards Him, for those who have strayed away from Him. My heart broke at the thought of those who do not know the truth and those who have rejected it.

I was refreshed by the Spirit. I was actually looking forward to GDOP eventhough I was really tired. GDOP was great, by the way! A bit different from what I envisioned it to be, but God was in our midst, nevertheless. Praying for revival in our nation, for our impressionable children and youth, and praying for the nations.

Lord I stand in the midst of a multitude
Of those from every tribe and tongue
We are Your people on earth
Redeemed by Your blood
Rescued from death by Your love

There are no words
Good enough to thank You
There are no words
To express my praise
But I will lift up my voice
And sing from my heart
With all of my strength

*Hallelujah(x3) to the Lamb
Hallelujah(x2) by the blood of Christ we stand
Every tongue Every tribe Every people Every land
Giving Glory
Giving honour
Giving praise unto the lamb of God

Lord we stand by grace in Your presence
Cleansed by the blood of the Lamb
We are Your children called by Your name
Humbly we bow and we pray

Release your power to work in us and through us
Till we are changed to be more like you
Then all the nations will see your glory revealed and worship you

Bridge: Every knee shall bow
And every tongue confess that you are Lord of all, Lord of all

Photos Galore!

Seth making a funny face

Sarah's so pretty!

Seth doing his usual.. haha

Bella sticking out her tongue.. so cute!!!

SK's so embarrassing! =P

Crazy pic during Missions Fund-raising

Darling Feon chewing on corn

Reon looking plain cute! =)

Aw... Loving sisters! (not! =P)

7 years of friendship!

9 for us!

Dear mirror,

If you have anything to say to me, say it to my face. Don't be a coward and hide behind a pseudonym. Since you don't know the whole story, I suggest you shut your gap. Seriously. I'm in no mood to entertain your nonsense.

Dear Hum,

Maybe you SHOULD really get into acting. You're really good at victimising yourself, aren't you? Been practising huh? Please lah. If you wanna apologise, apologise properly, with more sincerity. Don't come and send me cheapo web smses. Anyway, don't think you still need me as your friend lah, hor? You've got so many people sympathising with you already.

It's just your luck for both of you (probably sisters) to catch me on a really bad day. Ha.

Wah... Was at the M1 shop at Prargon with my colleagues yesterday to return a mobile phone my boss loaned to tke to Japan..
The staff there ah... damn rude lah! So condescending! And their attitude is really horrible! Given that they're located at a high-end shopping mall, one would expect the service standard to be high. But nnnooooo... The guy at the front desk where you take your queue number was rude, the cashier has an attitude problem, and the custimer service officer, Ivan Wee, was so stuck up! I mean, SERIOUSLY, if you have an attitude problem, then DON'T go into customer service lah! Or maybe we weren't well-dressed enough for us to render good service. Or coz we're not ang-moh.
Rubbish man!

And so I wrote in to lodge a complaint. All I got was a cold response, apparantly apologising for their poor service but not stating any kind of action they will take to improve their service standard. They just gloss over the fact that their service suck!

This was what they wrote back:

Dear Ms Wong

Thank you for your e-mail of 29 May 2006.

Ms Wong, we understand your concern with the recent service experience with our staff from our M1 Shop at Paragon. We thank you for bringing this incident to our attention. We wish to extend our sincere apology for the service lapse.

We agree with you that excellent customer service is indeed very important. We note your comments on the service rendered by our staff and acknowledge that we could have handled the situation better. We will reinforce the importance of providing excellent service and offering appropriate solutions to resolve our customers' queries professionally.

If you have other queries, please contact our 24-hour Customer Service Hotline at 1627 (+65 96801627). Or you may write to us via the link below. E-mail sent directly to our mailbox will not be responded to as this e-mail address is used for outgoing e-mails only.

http://csfeedback.m1.com.sg/jsp/email.jsp

Yours sincerely
MobileOne Ltd

Vanessa Catherina
Customer Relations
For more information, please refer to www.m1.com.sg

A well constructed email which doesn't answer my queries, nor does it give me any kind of assurance that M1 is going to do something about their employee's attitudes.

Men.....

Haha! Check out this link! It's really funny!! =)

http://lifestyle.msn.com/men/articlees.aspx?cp-documentid=413608

No offense, guys.. =P

Feeling down............

I fell.

Hard.

Deep.

I tried.

I really did.

Struggled and lost.

Can someone save me from the depths of darkness that has engulfed me?

Dessert landscape? How sweet! =P
And what the heck is a "pepplescape"?

Quote of the Day:

"You see, business runs against the grain of religion."

- KP Chua (Project Director, Veteran Businessman)

Bored @ work

I'm a Porsche Boxster!

You're stylish, nimble, and good-looking. When it comes to having fun, there are few who can surpass you. And yet, you suffer from a lingering inferiority complex. Maybe it's because you have an older relative who is always in thelimelight?

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

On a happier note, Esther's wedding was so beautiful! She had like crystals and candles hanging off twigs and branches. Pretty! And they had the song I Finally Found Someone by Bryan Adams and Barbra Streisand. So sweet! And Esther looked so beautiful in her white gown with beaded bodice. Like 1/2 of the people at the wedding are YWAMers!Haha! The group was really big when they called for a picture with "Esther's friends and colleague". All from YWAM! Good stuff! =)

It's really good to see people that I haven't met in a while.
(For some, it was excruciating to see lost loves coming to the wedding with their new loves. How sad.)
Faith was the wedding planner and was great to see her as well! Roy's photo display outside the sanctuary was really well-done! And they had 2 chocolate fountains at the reception! But I only had time for a dark chocolate dipped marshmallow before I had to rush off to sing at SES for Missions Emphasis Fortnight. Would have love to stay to catch up with people. Hmm.. Must arrange must arrange.

SJSM dancers, you girls did well! Danced beautifully! =) Thanks for playing Zac!
Peishan, Karen, Gie, good stuff!

*Took many pictures with my phone. Am just too lazy to upload and blog. Heh. Comp's slow as well. =P

AARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!

I could just scream so loudly right now! But i won't. Lest my colleagues report me to Buangkok.

It's so ANNOYING!!! Seems like you're not really serious about going. I understand the need to meet him. I really do. But I really think you should get your priorities right. Will you die if you don't meet him for 1 week because you were doing something in preparation for the trip? Will he? Actually, I hope he does.
I hope I can cut you some slack as well. And probably my expectations of you are higher coz we share the same blood. Be more flexible can? If not morning, then meet in the evening lah.
You're not a kid anymore, you know! Can you please learn how to set your priorities right? Stop being controlled by him! Seriously, we all don't thhink he's very good for you. But obviously you think he's the best. Whatever lah. You never listen anyway.

It doesn't help that I, being itchy fingers, went to read some stuff that I wish i hadn't coz I'm not feeling very good now. Why was I so kaypoh? I should so stop doing stupid things like this. Sometimes, it's best to ignore. Not knowing is better than knowing and feeling this way. Is my importance dwindling?
Never mind.

Shit. This sucks.

Ranting

So call me sua ku.

Was at the World Bank Ops meeting this morning and I had a culture shock. The chairman of the meeting was so aggressive and business-minded.

Compared to the meetings I usually attend in church or at YWAM, this was a new thing for me.

Can really see the difference between a profit-driven organization and a God-centred organization's way of doing things. The focus is different (like duh!).
People were just discussing about how to lower cost and increase profts. Scrapping away things that are not profitable or don't make business sense. Being shrewd and aggressive so as not to be taken advantage of. And the tone the chairman used is so... serious. Things like, " I want to see it done by this date" or " you better take care of that". Scary. I mean, yah, this is how the corporate world works. But it's all new to me.

The attitudes are different. The dynamics are different.

Wow. Sorry ah, I'm still in shock.

My very first corporate meeting.

Total Randomness

Total Randomness

Yeah!

Finally got rid of Daddy's loapok phone (oops!) and got myself a snazzy new phone! Haha!
Happiness! Waited so long to get it coz Moo and I were planning to get it together. =)

Got ourselves new ProjectShop handphone pouches to go with our new phones. Heh. So vain right? =P

Thank God for His faithfulness and His presence at Sunday's service! Isabel and Bryner were really steady as well! No one could tell that they were nervous. Rite?.... =)
Great job!

So I'll be in church for all 3 days of the Diocesean Prayer Revival Meeting. Tiring lah. But am just happy to serve God this way. Praying for hearts to be right before Him. Praying against pride and self-glorification.

Bought a Fendi bag for Mummy for Mother's Day. Took a really long time to choose. Thanks Moo, for helping me pick a bag for my really fussy Mum. Heh. It's a hobo bag with a leather rope strap and leather sides, and the signature Fendi monogram in the centre. Kept wondering whether she'll like it coz she gave specific instructions about the size of the bag (Not too big, not too small), the colour (Black. If no black, then dark brown), length of the straps (Longer straps better), details (Most have zip. More secure. A lot of pickpockets in Genting, you know) and brand (Don't want Gucci lah. So common).

Her bag is:
- Dark brown (checked)
- Has a zip (checked)
- Not too bog, not too small (checked)
- Not Gucci (checked)
- Long straps (checked)

Was really worried that she wouldn't like the bag. (Actually I chose a bag that I kinda like. So that i can use it if she really hates it. Cunning, aren't I? =P)
But she liked it! Maybe coz her godson had a part to play in the selection process. Heh. Thank God!

Worship prac for Wednesday's PRM went really well! The band's great, and the girls sounded really good together! Not that SK and Johnson sound bad but they couldn't come for practice yesterday. Heh.

My Lil' Darlings

unselfish

That was the word that came to mind before I fell asleep last night.

Our GOD is unselfish. Selfless. Generous.

DAD, I'm really sorry for my unbelief. I thought things were going well and dandy for me but You know truly know me better than I know myself. I'm sorry for putting You in a box because of my lack of faith. I can ask You for the impossible coz nothing is impossible with You!

Thank you for your faithfulness even in my unworthiness. Thank you that Your love for me has and will never waver. Teach me to put my trust in You. Teach me to ask You for the impossible. Use me Lord I pray even as I serve in the marketplace for this season.

In the precious Name of Your Son,

Amen.

******************************************************************************************

Johnson used this song during worship today and I just begun to understand what it means.

You said, "Ask and you will receive whatever you need"

You said, "Pray and I'll hear from heaven, and I'll heal Your land"

You said, "Your glory will fill the earth, like waters the sea"

You said, "Lift up your eyes. The harvest is here, the Kingdom is near"

Chorus:

You said, " Ask and I'll give the nations to you"

Oh Lord, that's the cry of my heart.

Distant shores and the islands will see Your light

As it rises on us.

*Oh Lord, I ask for the nations.

Update

Update

Work
So I'm still with Pico. For another 6 months, that is. For the World Bank Meeting which will be happening in August and September. I'm told that thay probably won't need me to work weekends cept during the event. =)

Something tells me I'll be too lazy to look for a job and settle for an admin position, which is the only position that doesn't require one to work on weekends, here. Heh.. We'll see.

Random
Went for darling god-nieces' birthdays last 2 months! Such cuties! They've grown so much! And oh so ADORABLE! Tried to take pictures of them but they were too active. Haha.
(Please check out Moo's blog for related photos. =))

Went shopping with Moo on Labour Day and came back with lots of goodies! Happie! =)
(Using my pretty green Gucci wallet now!)

Made chocolate cheesecake @ Tracy's with Shin and had our mini 'family meeting'. Haha.. Fun fun!
(According to Tracy, the filling's too watery. Can't really imagine..but sounds quite gross.. Heh. =P)

More dancing coming up! For the Diocesean Prayer Revival Meeting and Missions Emphasis on the 21st! =)

** Everythings good! Cept for flu and cough.. *sniff sniff heck heck* Sound horrible singing.. =P

The Weaver - Anonymous

My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.

Oft times He weaveth sorrow
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I, the underside.

Not till the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.

I had that thought again just now.

First time in a long time. Not since a few years ago, when I was taking the pills.

Primarily for her to carry that burden of guilt for the rest of her life.

Made stronger by the sight of the open window in my room.

I'm sick of it all. Ending it might be the best solution.

Childish? Yes. Stupid? Yes.

I'm going insane. Push me any further and I'll retaliate in a way that no one can fathom.

Over-reacting? Maybe.

This might be the last straw.